What I have been learning lately about communication is how it relates to anger, hurt feelings, or an overall unhappiness. What I have found is that it is really, really important to take time before a confrontation to really get to the bottom of what the issue is. Usually there can be this huge situation or issue and really, when you get down to the nitty gritty of the situation, it was one, maybe two things that really set the entire thing off.
and what happens is that someone gets upset, doesn't take any time to actually consider "hey, what am I really upset about?" and then they confront the offender. and then it is this huge mess of confusion with the offender not understanding what the heck is going on. I have had to learn (and am still learning) to do this in my relationship with Josh- and he and I have really, really great communication- and I still have to pay attention to it. I've seen it at work. I've seen it with other people. and it takes a lot of self control to not lash out and jump into a confrontation. But it's worth it! Seriously.
So please, take my advice, before you decide to confront someone about an issue I pray that you take time to really get to the bottom of the situation. It will really save you from a lot of misunderstandings and from wasting a lot of time.
and energy.
and words.
and.... you get it.
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