Thursday, January 15, 2009


So... my entire adult life I have been frequently misunderstood by the male population.  I have a naturally friendly demeaner.  I really care about people.  and I like making them feel good about themselves.  and complimenting them.  and finding out their stories.  and I really, really do like that.

but men have often misunderstood my friendly curiosity as flirting.  or a sexual or relational interest in them.  and when I was single that was 99% of the time wrong.  Now that I'm married it's wrong 100% of the time.   But how is anyone supposed to know that in a world that accepts physical and emotional affairs all the time?

When I was single, it really didn't matter.  If some random Joe-Schmoe thought I was attracted to him I really didn't care.  I would be caught off guard by some random date proposals by "Friends" of mine (naive? yep) but it really didn't bother me.

Now that I'm married, however, I am overly paranoid about it.  I don't want anyone to think I'm flirting with them.  and I don't want onlookers to think I'm flirting with someone else.  and I really don't like it.  I feel like I can't be friendly to men.  Or I don't know how to be.  I hardly know how to have unmarried male friends anymore and I'm ok not having a plethora of single male friends it's just the fact that if I wanted to... I really don't know how. 

and I think that it's healthy to be aware of it.  but I don't think it's healthy to be afraid of it.  and I'm pretty young by society's measures to be married.  and I think what really brings this to the surface is my job at Voyages.  I am constantly interacting with men who are here on business or without their wives.  How do I make them feel warm and welcome here in a safe, I'm-not-attracted-or-interested-in-you-in-any-other-way... way?

and I love my husband so much and he loves me so well that I don't want anyone ever, man or woman, to think that I need to go looking for it anywhere else.  

and I don't know how to find a friendly balance.  

Can anyone offer me insight into that?


  1. Hi Leslie,
    I have an opinion about this blog.
    I think that the answer is in your face and more specifically your eyes. I have known females who generally get so excited about people it is mistaken for something else. For some people, it seems to me, when someone smiles a certian way and squints and looks genuine it is very appealing. So I suggest a slightly less intense smile. Try to smile just with your mouth and not your eyes too. or you could buy a big hairy fake mole and put in right on your nose! or right between your eyes. these are just some thoughts

  2. i like the mole idea, just as long as it comes off at night