Heart Longings...

I want to be the kind of person who doesn't want credit for anything.   I want to do things in this life with the "audience of One" in mind, and no one else.  I want to be the kind of person who loves quietly.  Who does not love others in a loud, obvious, boisterous way.  But loves in a calm, undercover, rich, meaningful, pure way.  I want to be the kind of person that goes on a mission trip but leads everyone to believe it's just a vacation.  and then I want to go on that "vacation", and serve my brains out- serve to exhaustion!  and come back and go right back to the daily grind and not let anyone know what transpired.  To have that sort of purity of heart in my love.  In my actions.  In my serving.

I want to be this person because I am not, right now.  I find myself a little too drawn to the applause of others.  and I want to rid myself of that sort of pride.  That sort of sin.

I want to be the kind of person who always points to the goodness of others.  I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, "Speak ill of no man, but speak all the good you know of everyone".  I want to live that way.  I want to speak that way.  I don't want to point to the goodness of... me.  ((because the only goodness in me is Christ.  Everything in me that is not good are just the parts that I have not surrendered to Him))

and I want to be the kind of person that receives praise well.  And accepts compliments gracefully.  Not the fake humility that rejects a compliment and bounces it right back onto the person giving the praise.  

and

I.

want.

more.

out.

of.

life.

than.

the.

norm.

Because the norm

sucks.

and I don't want to suck life, or suck at life.  I want to give life.  and live life.  to the fullest.  Everyone says that, "oh I want to live life to the fullest" but I don't see it, very much.  Surely there must be more fullness to be had than the "fullest" that most people experience.