Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Honeymoon Chronicles: Part 3

One of my passions in life is love. I love, love. I'm passionate about marriage as well. I love marriage. I love seeing beautiful marriages, I love dreaming about how to have a beautiful marriage, how to make love and in love-ness last.... so here's one of my theories on how to "make it last"

I think that part of maintaining the "in love" feelings has a lot to do with remembering your beginning as a couple. There is a certain way that couples treat each other that has a tendency to fade.

In the beginning, couples cherish each other. They are fascinated by the others words, tendencies, quirks, thoughts... They listen. They dive into each others hearts, seeking to know more. They ask questions, good questions, because they want to really get to know their new love. They are nervous. They clean their house or apartment before the other person gets there. They hold doors and make food for each other. They send cards, leave notes, buy flowers, text message, and hold hands all day.

Lets stop there. They hold hands. Lately, when I walk around in public, I've been observing the couples who are holding hands and of those couples, approximately 100% of them are NOT wearing wedding rings. Which can only lead me to believe that married people stop wanting to touch each other all the time. Holding hands in public is like staking a claim. It says, "Yeah, he's with me". Without saying anything. I guess rings say the same thing. But you can forget you are wearing a ring pretty easily. It starts to become a part of you, an unnoticed accessory... but I want to "forget" that I even reach out for Josh's hand. I want reaching out for him to be so common and everyday that it becomes as natural as wearing a ring.

Anyway, back to our list. A new couple is not rude the others' family, does not speak ill of their parents in private, and tries to win them over when in their presence. They think of creative new dates in an effort to win each others hearts. They brag about the object of their affection to their friends. and....well... they absolutely do NOT fart in front of each other.

Which leads me to my point. Josh and I don't fart in front of each other. Ok, the occasional accident happens, but really, we don't. and when the offense does accidentally take place, we are quick to offer an apology. Some people might see this as immaturity, that we "can't be ourselves" or aren't "comfortable" or "free" with each other. But I disagree. I see it as "I cherish you" and "I respect you" and "I want you to like being around me" and "I love you more than me". In all truthfulness, we have more freedom in our relationship than I had ever imagined could be possible. I have more freedom now that I am married to Joshua than I have ever been at any point in my entire life. He knows me, really knows me. But he doesn't "know" the smell of my 'toots' . It's gross, it's rude, it's not something you would do in front of a stranger, or family, or friend, or..... anyone..... and it's definitely not something that people do when they are trying to "win each other over" in the beginning.

and the thing is... I've already won him over.

But I am going to keep living as if I am still winning him over.

All day.
Every day.
Until the end of my days.

1 comment:

  1. I've been very inspired by your Honeymoon Chronicles posts. I even bought the book, A Severe Mercy and just finished reading it- the lessons were innumerable. I'm actually going to do a blog post of my own of the lessons I took from it. Keep up the blogging!