I am not The Light.

"In Him (Jesus) was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the  darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might belief. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world." -John 1:4-9

I read this passage recently, and it really stuck out to me.  It is about Jesus being the Light of the world, and John the Baptist, who was the messenger sent to tell about Jesus' coming, was not the light.  The part that stuck out the most to me is in verse 8 where it says:

"He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light."

My best friend asked me the other day if I feel like the way I live my life makes people want more of God, or want more of me?  and if I'm being honest, I think that I point other people to me more than I do to God.  I don't mean to, but sometimes, I'm pretty sure I do.

I think that sometimes, people confuse me with The Light.  I know that sounds terrible but let me explain.  Parents of the teens in our youth group will say something like, "Leslie... my daughter... she NEEDS to get together with you. She needs you to be there for her.  She needs your good example." etc etc.  That's pretty nice to hear, right?  and it's easy for me to start thinking that yeah, I am pretty awesome and yeah, these girls need me.  If I don't love them and listen to them and care about them, who will?  They need my light!

So I do my best, reaching out to as many girls as I can, but am I reaching out to them and then pointing them towards Christ? To the One who will always be there to listen, who always WAS there to listen in the first place? Or am I reaffirming a hidden belief that when issues or problems arise, all they need to do is sit down and talk with me, a wisdom giver, and everything will be better?  Who needs the Light of the world when they've got me? 

So, I want to live my life as more of a mirror. A mirror that reflects the radiance of The True Light onto other people. and I want to be careful to not let myself get confused, or allow others to be confused, with who the true Light of the World really is.  Because it gets exhausting when I try to be the light to so many different people.  and it gets fake.  and I don't want either of those things to be me.

So hi, my name is Leslie, and I myself am not the light; I am here only to be a witness to the Light. The light that shines in the darkness, into your darkness, and into my darkness as well.