Tuesday, May 15, 2012


"Terminal C16"

I'm writing this post from Terminal C16 at Chicago O'Hare airport.  We are waiting to board our flight to Frankfurt Germany.  My stomach is full of McDonalds (sorry Baby M, but Mama needed one more emotional binge meal) and my heart is full of ache over the grueling experience of saying 'goodbye' to my family. 

I've had so many things I've been thinking about and wanting to blog about, so I think I'm just going to sit here and write a bit.  This will probably end up being an exceptionally long post, but for once I will not consider that and merely write.  It also might be my last blog post ever (which hardly feels like something to cry over now).  I still haven't figured out what method I'm going to be using to continue writing, all I know is that I need to continue writing.  As I said before, I will probably continue writing in blog-post style, however it will most likely end up being just an email list that goes out to whoever wants it.  So, if you want it, please email me and let me know. (showthewonder@gmail.com).  I'm not expecting a huge response from this but I figured I might as well put the offer out there, yeah? 

"A Surprise Baby Shower"

Well, where to start?  I think I will start by telling you a lovely story about a time that I gave something up to God, but He decided to give it back to me.  Last summer, I attended the baby shower of my close friend Rachel.  I had a bit of a struggle with it, though, because as I sat there I realized that I would never get to have one for myself.  At least not one with my mom, sisters, aunts, cousins, grandma's etc etc.  I had a bit of a pout session where I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself and finally said, "Ok God. It's yours. I surrender my expectation and 'need' of a baby shower to You."  Well, two weeks ago, my very close friends threw me a surprise baby shower.  and I was genuinely surprised!  It was truly such a special experience.  My Mom, grandma's, one sister, cousins, aunts, and many friends made it.  I had friends there from Ohio, Ann Arbor, Lansing, and Frankenmuth.  It was incredible.  I felt so loved and cried twice over the course of the night.  What a treasure to have been given back something that I had 'given up'.  I am so thankful for friends like Emily and Nicole who love me enough to create an experience like that for me.  I mean, have you ever gone to a baby shower for someone who is only 10 weeks pregnant?  That's just, ricraycray. (Which is also my new favorite phrase.  It is a combo of 'ridiculous' and 'cray cray'.. which is slang for 'crazy'. Ricraycray.  Just say it once and you'll be hooked.)

Anywho, here are a few pictures Emily took of that night.

"Nurse Buddy"

The hardest part of my first trimester of pregnancy had to be the intense fatigue that I experienced.  My first trimester ends tomorrow and I am so thankful that I never once threw up!  Hooray!  I did experience feelings of nausea, though, and took many-a-nap to make myself feel better.  Our little dog Buddy, it turns out, is quite the little companion for anyone that's feeling sick.  He would come lay with me every single time I wasn't feeling well and he would stay with me until I finally got up.  Because of this, I started calling him, "Nurse Buddy".  Towards the end of my first trimester, every time I went to lay down I would just call out, "Nurse Buddy! Nurse Buddy! I need you!  Mama doesn't feel so good!" and he would come running right to my rescue. On our last day together, I needed a nap and called out to him and he came right away.  I asked Josh to get a picture of it and I am just so glad that he did.  Man, I'm gonna miss that little guy.

P.S. I don't usually sleep with flowers in my hair, but we had just gotten back from a wedding and sleeping was more important than the time it would take to remove a flower from my hair. 

"On Saying Goodbye"

In the process of leaving, there have been many (many many many many) goodbyes.  Until today, the hardest had been saying goodbye to Buddy and Emily who adopted Buddy with her husband, Mike on Sunday.  I cried so much that entire day that my contacts had a layer of salt on them, people. SALT. ON MY CONTACTS.  There was something about saying goodbye to him that felt so final.  I think that it wasn't just giving my dog away, but I think it was all that he represented in my life.  Stability.  Home.  Joy.  Consistency.  It was as if all of those things drove away from my life in the same car as that little dog.  I miss him a lot, but am thankful two of our best friends are going to give him such a wonderful home and life.  

Also, I have learned something interesting about saying goodbye the last few weeks, and that something interesting is that I think it is perfectly acceptable to hug men.  Now, many of you who are reading this are probably thinking, "Uh yeah of course it is" but if you're a part of the Christian community you might be thinking, "Well, only if its a side huge."  To that I say, hogwash!  I just realized that I do. not. care. about the expectation in parts of the Christian community that say men and women should never ever hug.  I have many good male friends that I am going to miss a lot and darn it, I gave them hugs before we left. and it was fine and my marriage is still awesome and Josh didn't feel weird about it either. So there. 

"The last few weeks of life in Michigan"

We were so blessed to have a lot of fun experiences before we left for our next adventure.  We have a lot of wonderful people in our life and I feel very rich and full from the times that we have been able to share with them the last few weeks.

Our flight is boarding, friends. So I've gotta go. Thanks for being on this journey with me!



  1. Miss you friend. Amazing words you write on this blog and I love reading them each time I stop by. You embody all of the fruits of the spirit so beautifully - I am grateful to call you my friend.

  2. I love you, sister!!! And people who think men and women shouldn't hug are RICRAYCRAY! Seriously.

  3. I want to be apart of that email list! My email is bethanielise28@yahoo.com. you wrote this beautifully, dear!

  4. How sweet of your friends to remember you that way and throw you a baby shower!