Sorry.

I am good at foosball
Which seems like a silly claim to make
but, I grew up with a table in my home
and spent countless hours spinning the handles
with my siblings.

So I'm, well, good at it.

Last night at the party there was a
foosball tournament.
and Josh and I won.
Towards the end of the championship game
I hit a particularly hard strike
that resulted in a goal
and the word that spilled out of my mouth was

"Sorry."

I just, blurted it out. More than once.
What was I apologizing for?
I don't know.
Maybe for the
flash of irritation I know my opponent felt;
the one that always occurs someone scores a goal on you?
Maybe I was feeling bad because I was trying too hard
and it is always a little annoying
when someone tries too hard.
But I don't know how not to.
(Sometimes I think I just try and try and try and try and try and that is my only skill. Trying.)

and anyway, I keep thinking about it.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
and I decided today that
I would like that to be the last time
I apologize for being good at something.